My parents got divorced and now neither of them notice my existence”
Symptom
My parents are divorced and whilst my mother constantly relied on me when it was happening she now hardly knows I exist and since my dad left, he has not contacted me. I have tried to get on with my life and thought I had done a good job until I had children of my own. When I had my second child I really began to question the parent child relationship and what impact having a child has on your life. It then made me question how my relationship was with my parents and it made me realise it was non-existent. I could not remember when I had ever had a parent child relationship. It appeared to me that my dad had never really been interested and I had been the parent to my mum and not the other way round.
The more I thought about it the harder it got. I appreciated that my parents did what they thought was right at the time but how does it leave me. I don’t really have a basis to go from when developing a relationship with my own children and I don’t really feel as if I have parents of my own.
Solution
I got so low I did not really know where to turn but I knew I had to do something as it was affecting my marriage, my relationship with my mum and more importantly my children. I don’t know why really but I started to see a homeopath to see if that would help.
After three months I felt awful but I knew why I felt awful and it felt strangely cathartic. After six months dealing with this and through work with her and my cranial osteopath I have now gained an understanding of why I feel the way I do. I cannot change the past and what has happened has happened, but it has made me understand myself and this in itself allows me to change the future and make sure my children never feel abandoned.
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I have never gotten over being taken into care as a child”
Symptom
My family was abusive and I was taken into care at a very early age. All I really wanted was to stay with my mum and over 30 years later I am still struggling with it. I have seen pyschologists and therapy groups however I am still a nervous wreck. I suffer from panic attacks, get palpitations and cannot do what I consider normal things like going on holiday or leaving my family for very long. I struggle to keep down a job. I get very angry and upset constantly and find it really hard to socialise. I still cry about the day they took me away from my mum in court and remember it as if it were yesterday. They made me feel like a criminal and yet I was a child who had done no wrong, just caught up in a family mess.
Possible Solution
Sometimes talking does not resolve the issues. You know that you cannot change the past but how do you move forward? Sadly the key to moving forward is understanding the past and this can be very difficult. For me seeing a CBT therapist was the start to moving forward. I also went to see a cranial osteopath who helped me gain an insight into some of the problems my family had experienced and allowed me to understand how I could make sure I did not repeat history. I also saw a horticultural therapist and this allowed me to explore a love of plants I did not know existed.
Possible Therapies
- CBT
- Counselling
- Cranial Osteopathy
- Reiki
- Art Therapy
- Homeopathy
- Horticultural Therapy